What John McCain Should Have Said III

SCHIEFFER: So what do you make of Senator Obama's tax plan?

MCCAIN: Well, Bob, he's throwing a lot of numbers around and I'm not sure [shrugs] where he gets them. He says 95% of working people would get a tax cut. I'm not sure how you do that when there aren't 95% of the working people in this country that even pay any federal income taxes. Only 60% of workers pay income taxes. He's going to cut taxes that aren't paid? Puzzling. [leans forward with clever grin] I suppose he's talking about this $1000 check that he's going to give away. My friends, if you haven't paid the thousand dollars to begin with then it's not really your money that's coming back to you is it? No, it's someone else's. Senator Obama is trying to redefine welfare as a tax cut. And as for raising taxes on [hold up fingers for quote marks] 'the rich,' why would you want to do that? Why--

OBAMA: Because they can afford it.

MCCAIN: [looks askance across the table] would you... Please, is that the only reason? This is why I say that his plan is just Marxist ideology wrapped up in a pretty speech. If you want more revenue in the Treasury then you cut taxes for all taxpayers. That brings in more revenue. It's happened every time, under Kennedy, under Reagan, and under Bush. If you want more revenue then you cut taxes. [points across table] But what he won't tell you is that it's not about revenue. It's about class warfare and getting votes by telling some people that he's going to stick it to another group of people. And in the final analysis, there was another Democrat presidential candidate who promised a middle class tax cut. Then he got elected and suddenly it was a different story. Not only was there no cut, he raised their taxes. So Senator Obama can say he's going to cut taxes until he's blue in the face but frankly, I don't believe him. But I will gladly yield the balance of my time to the distinguished gentleman so he can explain how he's going to cut the taxes of people who don't pay them.

What John McCain Should Have Said II

SCHIEFFER: So what do you make of what Senator Obama said to 'Joe the Plumber' the other day about spreading the wealth.

MCCAIN: Frankly, Bob, I was astounded. I think it displays a fundamental lack of understanding about how our free market system works in America. 'Joe the Plumber' wants to be a small business owner and small business owners already spread the wealth [begin ticking off points on fingertips] by bidding jobs correctly, hiring the right people, getting them to the right place at the right time with the right equipment. That's how a free market works. When you do all those things correctly you are rewarded. If you do them incorrectly you are punished. You see my friends, it is not the job of government to spread the wealth. People like Senator Obama won't phrase it this way but what they're doing is taking money from one set of Americans and giving it to another. This is not a free market, this is Marxist ideology. There is no system of risk and reward and incentive. And I believe that [smiles encouragingly and taps tabletop with pointed finger] is what is vitally necessary to a growing, thriving economy where everyone can benefit. We shouldn't confiscate the results of hard work, of successful work, and redistribute it through the inefficient arms of government. [Looks across table] And I will gladly yield the balance of my time to the distinguished gentleman so he can explain what he hopes to gain by increasing the tax burden on the top producers in this country.

What John McCain Should Have Said

SCHIEFFER: So what do you make of this ACORN situation with investigations of voter fraud?

MCCAIN: Bob, this is extremely troubling. [Looks down at table pensively] And quite frankly it makes me very angry. American freedom is like a tree and its trunk is our sacred right to vote. [Looks at camera with steely eyed determination, taps pointed finger on tabletop to emphasize every syllable of the next four words] I shed my blood. I shed my blood to nourish that tree and to see ACORN take an axe to it is unconscionable. Senator Obama worked with them, he worked for them, he was a lawyer who defended them, he gave over 800,000 dollars to support them, they endorsed him for President, and he recently told them they would have a seat at the table in his administration to help shape policy for America. In a McCain administration they'll have a seat all right, [intensifies voice] right next to a public defender. I'm going to tear into them. And if I find proven voter fraud then people are going to jail. And you know what? I'll gladly walk down there and slam the cell door shut myself. [takes deep breath] Now I will gladly yield the balance of my time to the distinguished gentleman so that he can explain all this.

Can't Get Enough Chuck Norris

1) If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

2) There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always the one in control.

3) Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

4) Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

5) Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Some Words Live to Die

I wrote another 500 words for 'River of Bones' and I think all of them will not survive. I've got my idea for the middle and how to tie it into the end but getting there is a little tricky. This morning's writing was all about the getting from point A to point B and not much else. It's all transitional and only has a few things that really build the story. Looking back over them, it felt more like a free writing exercise to see if anything useful came out of it. However, with Son Number One in the room flipping through Sunday morning infomercials and finally settling on an I Love Lucy rerun I've had a tough time concentrating. Now two hours have passed and he's started playing some of the quirky indie rock that he spends all his money on. I wish he would have done that earlier when I was not tired of typing. Much more inspirational.

Anyhow, even though this morning's effort will probably not see print it is all part of the process and might trigger something down the road when then words tremble at the might of my delete button. Death doth wonderfully concentrate the mind, said the Bard, and paragraphs facing extinction may scream something worthwhile in those last few seconds before the lethal injection takes hold.

Motiv8 Fantasy Fiction Tour

I've highlighted some of these authors before and now they are teaming up on a tour promoting Christian fantasy fiction. Visit their blog to be a part of it. I just wish I'd been paying attention earlier. I could have gotten Son Number Two's copy of Isle of Swords signed when they came through Seattle.

Ugly Babies

Once, long ago, I watched an instructor at Marine Corps Basic Communication Officer Course look down at our class and tell us that sometimes when we plan things they just don't go right. When that happens we need to be able to call an ugly baby an ugly baby. He then looked right at the student responsible for leading the planning of our latest debacle and said, "And that, Lieutenant, was an ugly baby." What he didn't know was that this lieutenant was passing around pictures of his newborn just a day before. Later, during some break, that lieutenant started complaining about the instructor and disgustedly couldn't believe that he would call his baby 'ugly.' Several of us standing around looked at each other with upturned eyebrows. Apparently our fellow student wasn't bright enough to figure out what the instructor was talking about. Which, come to think of it, was why he'd planned such a botched up comm system. But that's not relevant right now. The point I'm trying to make is about the last few stories I've evaluated for Rage of the Behemoth. There were a few that just weren't very good. (One was absolutely excellent and had that sock-you-in-the-gut 'Wow!' feeling that I'd been looking for.) I'd thought when I started this that there would be some good writing lessons to pull out of it. There have been those but the majority of what is submitted just lacks greatness. I suppose they really aren't ugly babies so you can just forget that clever anecdote I began with, but the point remains that there is just an enormous wave of mediocrity that has to be slogged through in order to find the gems. So the slogging will continue even though we are closing in on the end of days as the available slots are filling up. The best in heart stopping, bone crunching fantasy fiction is coming your way.

The Center Can and Will Hold

No, I'm not talking about the great center of our country that is being pounded by the current financial crisis and the labyrinthine bailout proposal. I'm talking about the center of 'River of Bones' that I embarked on this morning. I'm up to 2400 words and the hero is about to take a short cut through some mysterious hills in order to gain on the people he's pursuing. Trouble with shortcuts in a fantasy world: they usually lead through a Very Dangerous Place. The particular test and trial that the hero has to go through once he gets there is forming in my mind. My bet is that there will be grumpiness, a variety of weapons of opportunity, a severed limb or two, and hurt feelings. That, my friends, is heroic fantasy gold.

Marcher Lord Press

This month's CSFF Tour takes us to where the map ends. An ambitious undertaking by industry veteran Jeff Gerke is launching next month, called Marcher Lord Press. It aims to produce excellent Christian speculative fiction and get it into the hands of as many people as possible. The launch consists of three books that span the broad genre and we wish him the best of luck as more titles come out in the near future.

River of Bones

The new story I'm writing has a working title of "River of Bones." (Because I wanted to start writing it and needed a title so that was what came to mind when I entered down to the place in the middle of the first page that needs a title.) I'm not sure how I will work that in or whether or not I even want to. That leads me to opine about spur of the moment working titles. Sometimes they're drivel and sometimes they're inspired. You don't really know which one you've got until the story is finished but I find it interesting that my fling with the subconscious has produced a catchy title. I'm sort of wondering what kind of story will come of it because I really don't have a good visual of what it means. Hopefully that will come about as I go. Right now I have a strong opening scene and an emotionally charged final scene but no story in between. (That's never stopped me before.)

Anyhow, I'm up to 2100 words as of this morning. The main character's name is Rath and he is searching for something dear to him. Rath is the protagonist in the last story that I wrote a month ago called "Thunder Canyon." What? You say you've never heard of that story even though you're a devoted reader? There's a reason behind that and I'll reveal it later. Right now all you need to know is that I really love Rath and the dramatic nature of his circumstance.

I still plan on finishing the Third Roman Story and I have an idea for a follow up to "The Battle of Raven Kill" which will explain Oth's origin. But... I know how I write and when something is hot I allow the keyboard to receive the pounding it deserves. Otherwise there would be no progress at all.

Details, Details

One of the submissions for Rage of the Behemoth I read lately had an interesting problem with it. As writers, we always strive to provide our readers with enough details to make the story come alive. We want them to see, smell, feel, hear, and taste what the hero is going through. We want them to know what the hero's hopes, motivations, and fears are. We want them to understand enough of the setting so that the action makes sense. We do this by providing details relating to all these things so the reader can build the picture in his or her mind. Sounds simple enough.

The problem becomes picking out what details to put in and what details to leave out. In any scene there are a million things happening and to put them all in would make a story unreadable. We just can't focus on too many things at once. The submission in question struck me as over detailed and with the wrong details. There were too many descriptions of unimportant characters and they came too soon in the tale. I felt like I was listening to the Brady Bunch theme song: "Here's a story, Of a boat of raiders, Twelve in all and looking for a fight..." It was too much to keep straight.

I suppose the only way to guard against this is to have some good beta readers that can point out what the author has lost focus on. While us writers can see all kinds of things in our mind's eye, we need to be able to pick out the relevant things and put them in a context that a reader can follow all while telling a compelling story. This ain't always easy, folks, but it's why we get paid the big bucks.

MindFlights Stikes Again

The good people over at MindFlights have uncovered another good story. It is The City on the Rock by Andrew Cooper and it's one that I can readily identify with. You have the Captain of the Guard, family man with responsibilities who's trying to get by in a city on a downward spiral, who uncovers the evil source of his hometown's misfortune. It needs to be fixed and he fixes things his way, with a sword and a strong arm. Throw in a couple grotesque villains and bloody demises and it makes for some excellent reading. This looks like a good start for young Cooper; the MindFlights crew was wise to snap this story up.

More Fun With Words

A couple of fun things today. I sold my flash fiction piece called "The Witch of the Westmoors" to Abandoned Towers. It is set just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Raven Kill and features a vaguely recognizable character from before. More on that later.

I also have compiled about 1200 words towards a new story with what is turning out to be my favorite protagonist. More on that later as well.

That Roman Story Finds a Home

Over the weekend I successfully sold "Sunset at the End of Empire" to a new market called Abandoned Towers. It is scheduled for their second print issue sometime next spring. This is a particularly satisfying sale because I really love These Roman Stories. They are great fun to write and to research. The hero, Apollo Valerius Delphinius, is a man who knows the end is coming and he will do what he must to preserve the good in order to benefit the future. Although the sun is setting on his empire, he knows the night that follows can be shortened.