Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Recipe For An Interesting New Year


1 Unsuspecting Family
Raised Rent
1 Better House
4 Children
Several Unexpected Renovation Delays
Good Friends
3 Good Friend's Children
1 Dog
2 Moving Trucks
Random Assortment of Too Much Stuff
Storage Unit
21 Days of Freezing Weather

In a large bowl, add unsuspecting family and suddenly introduce raised rent. Beat to a froth. Add better house when unsuspecting family is stiff and holds its peaks. Sprinkle in 4 children, one at a time, and let them become familiar with the mixture. Begin adding unexpected renovation delays (reserving one) and mix well, then remove children slowly and place in oversized Ziploc bag with all 3 good friend's children. Set aside first bowl. Add dog to bag and shake well. Let both mixtures stand after folding in several days of freezing weather. While mixtures are firming up, take first moving truck and insert a handful of good friends and as much of the assortment of too much stuff as will fit. Repeat. (Optional: scatter many scoops of too much stuff into other locations and collect up later for finished product.) Place too much stuff into storage unit and bake at 25 degrees for 7 days, add last unexpected renovation delay and bake at slightly colder temperature for 7 more days. Take second moving truck and any remaining good friends (there will be much fewer this time, that is normal) and remove too much stuff from storage unit. Place directly in better house. Open bag and separate children and dog with a fork. Run first mixture through a sieve and remove unsuspecting famliy, reunite with children and insert in better house. Garnish with 2 more days of freezing weather. Serve chilled.


Seren said...

Serve chilled, adding a side salad of commiserations for flavour. Drench with a dressing of good wishes. Uncork a bottle of your favourite tipple and toast to a warm, sunny future. 'Bottoms up!'

Jackie Brown said...

:) brilliant - I am happy you were able to add humour since in our own house I can't say the M's considered a four letter word ;) - J

Keith said...

Its over 30 years since we cooked up a move. Glad to say we forgot the recipe !
Enjoyed this piece immensely.