Travelling Lighter Than Normal

Let me tell you how to get lost luggage back from the airlines. First you have to go to their service counter at the baggage claim and ask where your bags are. If you're in Pusan, which may be unlikely for you but very likely for me, you look around for someone who speaks good English. Then, and this is the important part, you assume a look of utter amazement while saying, "My bags aren't even in Korea yet?" Then you get a phone number to call and a claim number to reference. Then you shrug and go about your business. Then you spend an unrestful night on a cot wishing you had a pillow while listening to everyone else snore. Then you call the number the next morning, after the clock strikes Business Hours, and find out that your bags are somewhere over the Pacific and will get to Pusan late that night for delivery to you the next morning. Then you give them contact information for whatever military base you're currently staying at. Then you buy a couple of shirts. Then you go about your business. Then you wake up the next morning, feeling less fresh than usual, and call again to confirm that your bags are on the way. Then you wait all stinkin' day and they don't show up. Then you sleep again, with your mood in a downward spiral. Then you get up and spend a few hours trying to find out who picked up your bags from the main gate last night and, once found, patiently wait for them to figure out which van your bags are in the back of. (Hint: It's the van that just took someone to the train station.) Then you wait another hour or two and get your bags back. Then your glasses break.

And that's how you get lost luggage back from the airlines.