An interesting thing came up while I was making the final revisions to "The Battle of Raven Kill." The story centers around the hero and his drive to succeed; if he gives up, he loses, if he keeps fighting, he wins. There were a few bits where he prayed to "The Great God" which was a fantasy analogy to the God of the Bible. (By the way, when did He start making His internet appearances under the stage name 'G-d?' Did I not get the memo?) Anyhow, the hero comes to a point where he really is waffling on whether or not to continue the struggle. He sees something that cements his resolve and gives him the determination to finish. Originally as written the line went like this:
"He could not give up. God d*** him for ever thinking that he could."
As you can see, even though I typed it... I had reservations about it. I suppose it's not technically taking the Lord's name in vain but I still sat there for several minutes and went back and forth about it. In the end I just didn't feel comfortable with it and changed it to this:
"He could not give up. The Great God damn him for ever thinking that he could."
I think the first line has more emotional punch when I look at it with a clinical view. Still, I just couldn't bring myself to leave it in.
Monday, December 03, 2007
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