1) If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2) There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always the one in control.
3) Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4) Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
5) Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.