Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Can't Get Enough Chuck Norris

1) If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

2) There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always the one in control.

3) Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

4) Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

5) Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.


Son #1 said...

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he dosen't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing.

Jeff Draper said...

Apples don't fall far from the tree...

Anonymous said...

Who's 'Chuck Norris'?

Jeff Draper said...

Who is Chuck Norris? Who is Chuck Norris!?! No self respecting American could ever ask that question with a straight face. See below.